She who trusts... learns
Oct 15, 2018 5:26:43 GMT
Post by shee on Oct 15, 2018 5:26:43 GMT
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) from this point, he could see his bush. It was Iomhara, his precious place. From that spot, he could heard the whispers of the lake as he watched the forms of life within the city. Near the stone of the aging statue, nearly forgotten and lost to Iomhara, beauty lingered to him like a ghost. It was haunting. he found the forests haunting. Mists tend to hang in the branches in the twilight hours and rise over the dark blue of the water surface. Some nights, he swore he'd see the spirits of the wilds dancing on the mountain peaks. It was magical. That was his Iomhara. Magical. Why he wasn't standing by it was almost beyond him. Truth be told, he'd found himself stuck at the corner watching the early evening traffic move past. Metallic monstrosities after another taunted him as they roared passed him. He shuddered once, something easily passable as a chill from the cold. These metallic beasts stole from the natural splendor. He hated them. He hated the gas station he was by, but until he
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): found the will to move, he was a prisoner to his corner, within sight of his sanctuary, his Iomhara, but still too far to feel truly safe in her embrace.
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) silently emerged from the safety of the woods, eyeing the motel room that she had seen the hunters enter the other night. Her steps silent as she walked along the road, coming up to the gas station, her gaze landed on Nathyn. A small smile appeared on her lips for a moment. "Hey Nathyn. It's good to see you again." Taking a few more steps, she would stop short of the man. "What are you standing on the corner for?" She asked, as she crossed her arms across her chest.
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) his face tensed as he heard Kahlan approach. beyond he veil, his wings rustled and his tail tightened about his leg. "I haven't decided to move yet." This was the truth of it that he cared to admit to. The fact that it was due to fear was left unsaid and thankful unfelt. He wasn't exuding fear from in. He seemed as stoicly calm as ever. It just proved how good he was at hiding what he wasn't willing to share. "I see you are still walking in and out of the forest." He said, glancing over his shoulder to her. " But at least you are better dressed for forest traversing." He gave her a half smile. Honest for all he could give outside that lingering sense of offness about him. Yeah, that damn feeling was still there.
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) furrowed her brows a bit, the off feeling about this man still bothered her, even after the few times they had spoken to each other. She figured the weirdness of it would have dissipated by now. "Ah, so you haven't been standing here long then." She guessed at that, obviously not knowing for sure. "Yeah, I like to hike on occasion, it's good exercise you know. Yeah, it's gotten a bit cold to be wandering without a jacket now." Taking a few steps, she would be even with him. Giving him a small smile, she would stretch a bit. "So any big plans today? Sketching or looking at plants today?" She asked, since it was one of her off days from the library, she wasn't exactly rushing anywhere.
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) studied her as she neared. It was at least easier to do so. He idly chewed the inside of his mouth, to gather a bit of that coppery taste to his tongue. It was a grounding flavor. "If I had any, I wouldn't share that with you. We don't have that sort of relationship of familiarity." He stated it bluntly. It wasn't said angrily though, but more as a statement of fact. He was pointing out that they weren't on the right terms for such topics to be shared. Of course, he also didn't imply he wanted to be there. But with the oddness of him, that was almost a fitting assumption.
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) watched him carefully, still unsure of the man, if he was just an odd human or not, such a condominium he was. Like a odd shaped puzzle piece that didn't fit exactly like you wanted it to. When he spoke, she sighed a bit. "With the way you said that, it's almost like you're implying that you don't that type of friendship either. All I was trying to do was be friendly, which isn't an easy thing for me to do." Her gaze dropping from him to the street that was nearby, as she thought. "Do you not make friends easy or is it because I did something to offend you?" She asked. "If it's the latter, you'll have to tell me, because I'm unaware of what I might have done"
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) canted his head to her, " you're assuming I want friends." He said simply. "If you wish the truth, I don't look for friends. I don't mind talking to others when they talk to me, but I don't expect it nor do i desire it." He shrugged softly. " You, however, are seeking companionship. You crave it. You wouldn't be trying to be so friendly with everyone if you did not wish to trust in others and find friendship. If there is anything negative I can say about you its that you lie to yourself far too much. You really should stop that. You realize it is perfectly fine to be hurt by others and still crave companionship? It is. Life is pain, but its not only pain. You shouldn't fear that pain because it will happen. You should be fearing denying yourself that when its all you want." he sighed again. " I mean the connection. No one really wants the pain, but its something that just comes with the territory. Just know it won't last forever. You'll be fine."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) looked back over at Nathyn when he spoke, a frown spreading across her face as he continued. "You're an odd one, you know that right? I haven't met a person that didn't want friends in some capacity. But, to each their own I guess." Her eyes held a sadness for a short time, before it disappeared and her gaze hardened. "I may seek companionship, but I won't let myself simply because I've been hurt too many times in the past. I take far more precautions now, because I don't want to be put in that position again. I refuse to." Running a hand through her blood red hair and letting out a breath, that she had apparently been holding in. "People have to earn my trust, whether they are new to me or they've known me for a while now. Hell the last person who I let get the closest to me, hurt me in the end. But he's moved on and so have I."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) nodded to her, in his seeming matter of fact way. " I am well aware of that, content even." He smiled softly to her, the edges holding a darkness that made even the heartfelt gesture feel cold. "There are many of us out there, the ones not seeking friendship. Generally the ones like me are not putting them in positions for those like you to continuously make friends with. But, this town is small. It is harder to hang on the fringes when it is a fringe in its entirety." His eyes went to follow a car that passed, apprehensively. He didn't trust the cars, but there wasn't anything he could do about that. Looking back to Kahlan, he sighed. "That is why you are lying to yourself. To refuse to be hurt is to refuse to live, and you obviously want to live. Stop lying. No matter who you meet to befriend, there will be that danger of being hurt. It is as sure as it is that one day both you and I will die. So long as you live with this refusal to hurt mentality, you will never get that trust from
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): others you crave, nor will they find the means to earn the trust you claim to wish to give." He motioned to the street. " it's a two way street. They have to drive down it just like you do. remember.... you can hurt them too, and those out there trying have accepted that. If that is the road you want, you need to accept it too."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) had glanced back at him, seeing the smile, but something was off about it, off enough for her to take a good size side step away from him. "Yeah, the town is rather small, almost cozy like." Her tone was soft, it wasn't sadness that was held there, more depressed sounding. "You know, it's easier to have said that you didn't want to be friends or to just leave you alone Nathyn." Her gaze following an old pickup truck drive past them, thinking about getting one at some point. "You say I'm lying to myself for taking precautions, yet here you stand saying that you don't need friends. Wouldn't that put you in a similar boat to me, granted you say that you do not seek friendship." Looking back at him, studying his eyes for a moment. "I don't want to hurt people. I'm already enough of a monster as it stands." Standing there for a moment more, playing with the tips of her hair. "Right now though, I need to look after myself, there's people in town that I think mean to do harm, so I gotta look after me, before I
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident): think about others."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) didn't take offense to her moving back from him. " I actually did say that I wasn't seeking or desire friends. I also said that I wasn't going to stop people from talking to me, but I wasn't seeking it myself." He motioned to Kahlan then, " You approached me to talk, Kahlan. I'm merely responding." He canted his head again, thoughtful. He een made a barely audible hmm. "No. Because I don't want friends doesn't mean i don't have friends. I do. I merely do not have a desire to seek out new ones. I am content with what I have. Were I looking, then I'd be looking as it was what I wanted, but currently, it is not." He took a moment watching her. Personally, he didn't believe in the whole monster thing, but he knew the ideology. It was very human. She was very human. "Are you really looking after yourself or are you merely caging yourself?" He asked her honestly, or at least as well as he could. "Because you choose the cage in which you stay does not mean its not a cage. For that is what you
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): are doing. There is self preservation and there is what you are doing. If you wanted to look after yourself, you wouldn't be surrounding yourself in a place that you seem saddened by. That weakens you. You seem conditioned to enjoy the weakness, even if you don't call it such. That is what it is. Weakness. You know what is born of those that are hurt, sad, and have much to build on? Monsters. So if that's not what you want... you aren't doing a good job from preventing that."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) sighed at his blunt honesty, but some of what he was saying she needed to hear whether she wanted to or not. Looking down to ground, kicking a pebble with her boot. "I just wanted to say hi. Well if you don't want new friends, since the ones you already have must be so great, I'll be sure to keep my distance then, besides the common pleasantries, I can see where I'm not wanted." Her eyes starting to glow as her emotions were starting to get the best of her, looking back up at him. "If I don't cage myself in some capacity, then bad things tend to happen." Chuckling at the mention of being conditioned to enjoy the weakness. "I was the scapegoat for a lot of bullshit where I lived last, I simply got used to it Nathyn. I am a monster, just not the typical ones that you think of like Micheal Myers or Jason. But a monster none the less."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) the way he looked at her was reminiscent of the way a elder brother or even a father or higher male figure would look upon another. "Stop it." He said directly. He followed it with the intensity of his stare. That coldness of his pale eyes coiled about her spirit and held it still so he could speak to it... to her. That real her. "You know nothing of what a real monster is. For starters, its definition will vary depending on the ideology you follow. You are feeling that you are immoral because whatever standards you had on what was right you have bent or broken. That and given your dependency on the thoughts of others, you probably broke the morals others had. Now I am going to tell you something, and you need to take this to heart, Kahlan. Fuck. People." He said the last two words with greater emphasis and power. "They don't get to tell you how to live your life. You don't have to listen to them. You want friends so bad, then you shouldn't be trying to fit in. You won't, and be proud of
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): that. It is a rare individual that can be taken for who they truly are at face value. You are different. Embrace that. And as you go out in the world you find people that are not judging you to their expectations. You wait and find people that look at you and take you as you are and accept you as you are. Those are the people that will always be there to help you when YOU want to change and when YOU need the help. If they don't do that fuck them. You don't need them. let them live their lies. You don't live it. You just live for yourself as you want. And stop calling yourself a monster. That is just another way that you are living for others."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) noticed the look he was giving her, opening her mouth to say something, but when he spoke, it snapped shut. The intensity of and coldness of his stare made her want to step away from him even further than she normally wanted to, but she was frozen to the spot. A shiver ran down her spine involuntarily. "I think I do. Each monster is different to everyone like you said, but for me to show you that, would require a certain trust and at this point, it isn't there for me to expose that." Falling silent as he said more, waiting until he was done. The glow in her eyes fading as she calmed. "You know what Nathyn, you're right.. But, I do need help with my mon-....er my...." She stumbled over her words, trying to figure out how to word it exactly. "My other side, for lack of better words..don't know what to called it, if I can't say monster anymore."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) smirked, " That... is why you seek friends. Not for companionship, but for survival. You are looking for those that can accept you as you are and help you with all your faults you need to fix. These friends should not be judging you for it. But at the same time, you should not be judging them either. And you give them something back for their friendship and aid. That is the trust you aren't giving. You remember all that the next time you want to stomp off in a huff as you do. Are the people you are stomping away from really trying to help you be a better you, or are you mad because you realize they aren't who you need in your life? Think on that." He smoothed out his coat then and sighed, his face softening.. least as much as it could given the aura he carried to him. " And for the record. I said I didn't desire friends or want them. that doesn't mean I won't make them. I am just not looking for myself. If they come up to me all the time, I'm not going to stop them." It was weird.... but
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): he was actually being friendly.
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) let out a breath she had been holding in. "Yeah, you're right. I need to work on things, I know that. But, where the hell do I start? There's fifty million things that I need help with and finding a starting point is daunting." Shooting him a glare as he mentioned her stomping off. "I stomped off because people were either making fun of me or something about me. Some of the people are trying to help me, but what they want me to do in order to help me is something I'm not sure I want to be apart of again. I was the scapegoat in the last place and I don't want that happening here as well. It makes me hesitant to take the leap again." Shifting her weight back and forth on her legs, noting his face softening after his intimidating stare a moment ago. "I just feel lost and alone, even when I'm surrounded by people."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) nodded, " You need to give a little to get a little." He said to her, in a calm, soothing tone, for him. "It is scary to trust and it should be, but you do need to. Perhaps, ask to sit and speak candidly with the ones that are trying to help you. Somewhere where it is just you and them? No outside interference. Take that chance and be honest for yourself. Say what you feel and what you are scare of.. what you don't know. Then state what you do know and what you are confident in. And what you are wanting for yourself. Give them a chance to be just as candid and open. You do that, and you can come to an arrangement that will help you both, or you will see how they don't care for you." He reached our and gently pat her shoulder. His hand was warm and not as heavy as it seemed it should be. "You need to trust yourself more too, and remember not everyone wants to destroy you. Some just have a shitty way of showing it."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) gave him a soft smile as she nodded. "Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll do that and see how that goes. It might help with my decision of what I need to do. Thanks for that Nathyn. I really do appreciate that." Studying him again, the man seeming wise beyond his years. She watched him reach out and gently pat her shoulder, which caused a surprised look to come across her face, but she didn't back away from it, but instead leaned into it slightly. Tilting her head some, as she felt the warmth of his hand and that it was light for a man's hand. "I can try to trust myself more, but that's an uphill battle. But, I think we might have some dangerous visitors here, that might want to try to cause harm. The day you walked out of the bar and there were two women by me....they were trying to corner me and their intentions were far from good."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) removed his hand from her shoulder. "I didn't mean to scare. Touch is usually a comforting thing." He chuckled softly , smoothing out his coat once more. "Oh.. so that wasn't some lesbian only place or bar night. And here I was expecting that to be a shining example of progressiveness. Shame." he chuckled again. He really couldn't help it. "Really though, there is danger everywhere. Where there are open people, there is danger. Have you seen the news later? America itself is shitty. Least we are in Canada. there is some hope yet." he mused off, looking to the sky. "The stars do look lovely tonight."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) chuckled a little. "It didn't scare me, it surprised me a bit was all. You don't seem like the touchy feely type of person, so wasn't expecting it was all." Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. "No, it wasn't. I have a feeling if you all didn't come out when you did, that those two would have tried something, so thank god you all did. I know danger lurks around every corner, but these people seem focused and organized. As for the news, I don't watch much tv anymore. Nothing, but depressing shit." Glancing up at the sky for a few moments, she admired the stars. "They sure do. Bet a mountain view would be better, less lights to fight with." Looking back over at him, she would take a step forward. "Thank you for your words of wisdom or advice, whichever you wish to call it." At this point, she would attempt to try and give him a hug as thanks.
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) laughed softly, " I am alive, you know. I do like touch. I just.. choose when I wish to do so." He stiffened a moment as she leaned in to hug him. He was half expecting it, so, he could adjust, which he did. Kahlan wouldn't feel the change, but his physical form literally stepped back. The form she saw remained and even reached up to reciprocate as one would expect him to. She was hugging the him not there. It was safer that way. He didn't hold it long either. When she released the hug and stepped back, he'd quickly slide back into his 'spot' as though he never moved at all. "I don't think I am all that wise. Yet, neither did Socrates. He considered himself a fool and a student until his final days." He looked to her, " he was executed. Sentenced to be self poisoned for his methods and beliefs. That is what happens to those that are different." He sighed then. "Well lucky for me, I'm both male and generally don't stick to crowds. Perhaps that is also unlucky of me too. I don't have a
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): crowd to seek aid from. Pity that."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) gave a genuine smile as he laughed. "True, touch is good, hell it's important to some of us, to help keep us sane." She had noticed he had stiffened a little when she leaned in to hug him and was pleasantly surprised that he hugged her back. None the wiser to his little stunt. Once she had let go and stepped back, her eyes were soft and held in them, something she hadn't had in a while. Hope. "You are wise beyond your years, you gave good sage advice and a lot to think about for sure." She rose a brow when he told her about Socrates. "That sucks, people seemed to be more harsh back then than they are now, so I guess that's one thing to be happy about I guess. But, you can have a crowd, when you decide that you want to seek more friends."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) snorted softly, "I don't know... have you seen racism in the South? People can be just as terrible this past century or so as they have been that long ago!" He laughed, finding humor in it. With the coldness in his tone, it would never be complete, but he tried his best to combat that. "If you believe in monsters, then you should know. Looks can be deceiving." He shrugged. " Tehre are vampires, for starters. They never age!" He sighed in thought, reaching up to pet the eyeball at his neck. " I don't think I'll care for crowds for a good while. It is just not my style. The more people around means the more people I'll piss off. It's the way of things. I'm fine with that, though. Either way, the offer is appreciated."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) nods. "I guess you're right. Is it hard to be nice to each other. Makes me want to sing why can't we be friends really loud." She chuckled as she glanced over at him. "Looks are always deceiving and you're right, could be talking to someone you think is like 25 and they're actually like 150." Letting out a short laugh." Her eyes drifting down to that creepy little eyeball that he wore around his neck for a moment. "You're welcome Nathyn. But I think it's time for me to continue my walk before I turn in for the night. You have a wonderful evening." She said with a wave and would walk off, unless she was stopped.
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) was still petting that eyeball too! "Hmm... indeed. Tricky things." As though he was one to talk. Though if he were asked, Nathyn was honestly the age he claimed. He... was another story, but that wasn't or wouldn't be asked. "Ahh.. i suppose I should actually think about moving off the corner. People may start to think things." he waggled his eyebrows to her, trying to make a joke. Otherwise, he'd merely watch her walk down the path. She'd probably be used to it by now, but he wouldn't actually say a parting, but in the silence it was there... somewhere.
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): found the will to move, he was a prisoner to his corner, within sight of his sanctuary, his Iomhara, but still too far to feel truly safe in her embrace.
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) silently emerged from the safety of the woods, eyeing the motel room that she had seen the hunters enter the other night. Her steps silent as she walked along the road, coming up to the gas station, her gaze landed on Nathyn. A small smile appeared on her lips for a moment. "Hey Nathyn. It's good to see you again." Taking a few more steps, she would stop short of the man. "What are you standing on the corner for?" She asked, as she crossed her arms across her chest.
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) his face tensed as he heard Kahlan approach. beyond he veil, his wings rustled and his tail tightened about his leg. "I haven't decided to move yet." This was the truth of it that he cared to admit to. The fact that it was due to fear was left unsaid and thankful unfelt. He wasn't exuding fear from in. He seemed as stoicly calm as ever. It just proved how good he was at hiding what he wasn't willing to share. "I see you are still walking in and out of the forest." He said, glancing over his shoulder to her. " But at least you are better dressed for forest traversing." He gave her a half smile. Honest for all he could give outside that lingering sense of offness about him. Yeah, that damn feeling was still there.
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) furrowed her brows a bit, the off feeling about this man still bothered her, even after the few times they had spoken to each other. She figured the weirdness of it would have dissipated by now. "Ah, so you haven't been standing here long then." She guessed at that, obviously not knowing for sure. "Yeah, I like to hike on occasion, it's good exercise you know. Yeah, it's gotten a bit cold to be wandering without a jacket now." Taking a few steps, she would be even with him. Giving him a small smile, she would stretch a bit. "So any big plans today? Sketching or looking at plants today?" She asked, since it was one of her off days from the library, she wasn't exactly rushing anywhere.
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) studied her as she neared. It was at least easier to do so. He idly chewed the inside of his mouth, to gather a bit of that coppery taste to his tongue. It was a grounding flavor. "If I had any, I wouldn't share that with you. We don't have that sort of relationship of familiarity." He stated it bluntly. It wasn't said angrily though, but more as a statement of fact. He was pointing out that they weren't on the right terms for such topics to be shared. Of course, he also didn't imply he wanted to be there. But with the oddness of him, that was almost a fitting assumption.
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) watched him carefully, still unsure of the man, if he was just an odd human or not, such a condominium he was. Like a odd shaped puzzle piece that didn't fit exactly like you wanted it to. When he spoke, she sighed a bit. "With the way you said that, it's almost like you're implying that you don't that type of friendship either. All I was trying to do was be friendly, which isn't an easy thing for me to do." Her gaze dropping from him to the street that was nearby, as she thought. "Do you not make friends easy or is it because I did something to offend you?" She asked. "If it's the latter, you'll have to tell me, because I'm unaware of what I might have done"
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) canted his head to her, " you're assuming I want friends." He said simply. "If you wish the truth, I don't look for friends. I don't mind talking to others when they talk to me, but I don't expect it nor do i desire it." He shrugged softly. " You, however, are seeking companionship. You crave it. You wouldn't be trying to be so friendly with everyone if you did not wish to trust in others and find friendship. If there is anything negative I can say about you its that you lie to yourself far too much. You really should stop that. You realize it is perfectly fine to be hurt by others and still crave companionship? It is. Life is pain, but its not only pain. You shouldn't fear that pain because it will happen. You should be fearing denying yourself that when its all you want." he sighed again. " I mean the connection. No one really wants the pain, but its something that just comes with the territory. Just know it won't last forever. You'll be fine."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) looked back over at Nathyn when he spoke, a frown spreading across her face as he continued. "You're an odd one, you know that right? I haven't met a person that didn't want friends in some capacity. But, to each their own I guess." Her eyes held a sadness for a short time, before it disappeared and her gaze hardened. "I may seek companionship, but I won't let myself simply because I've been hurt too many times in the past. I take far more precautions now, because I don't want to be put in that position again. I refuse to." Running a hand through her blood red hair and letting out a breath, that she had apparently been holding in. "People have to earn my trust, whether they are new to me or they've known me for a while now. Hell the last person who I let get the closest to me, hurt me in the end. But he's moved on and so have I."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) nodded to her, in his seeming matter of fact way. " I am well aware of that, content even." He smiled softly to her, the edges holding a darkness that made even the heartfelt gesture feel cold. "There are many of us out there, the ones not seeking friendship. Generally the ones like me are not putting them in positions for those like you to continuously make friends with. But, this town is small. It is harder to hang on the fringes when it is a fringe in its entirety." His eyes went to follow a car that passed, apprehensively. He didn't trust the cars, but there wasn't anything he could do about that. Looking back to Kahlan, he sighed. "That is why you are lying to yourself. To refuse to be hurt is to refuse to live, and you obviously want to live. Stop lying. No matter who you meet to befriend, there will be that danger of being hurt. It is as sure as it is that one day both you and I will die. So long as you live with this refusal to hurt mentality, you will never get that trust from
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): others you crave, nor will they find the means to earn the trust you claim to wish to give." He motioned to the street. " it's a two way street. They have to drive down it just like you do. remember.... you can hurt them too, and those out there trying have accepted that. If that is the road you want, you need to accept it too."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) had glanced back at him, seeing the smile, but something was off about it, off enough for her to take a good size side step away from him. "Yeah, the town is rather small, almost cozy like." Her tone was soft, it wasn't sadness that was held there, more depressed sounding. "You know, it's easier to have said that you didn't want to be friends or to just leave you alone Nathyn." Her gaze following an old pickup truck drive past them, thinking about getting one at some point. "You say I'm lying to myself for taking precautions, yet here you stand saying that you don't need friends. Wouldn't that put you in a similar boat to me, granted you say that you do not seek friendship." Looking back at him, studying his eyes for a moment. "I don't want to hurt people. I'm already enough of a monster as it stands." Standing there for a moment more, playing with the tips of her hair. "Right now though, I need to look after myself, there's people in town that I think mean to do harm, so I gotta look after me, before I
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident): think about others."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) didn't take offense to her moving back from him. " I actually did say that I wasn't seeking or desire friends. I also said that I wasn't going to stop people from talking to me, but I wasn't seeking it myself." He motioned to Kahlan then, " You approached me to talk, Kahlan. I'm merely responding." He canted his head again, thoughtful. He een made a barely audible hmm. "No. Because I don't want friends doesn't mean i don't have friends. I do. I merely do not have a desire to seek out new ones. I am content with what I have. Were I looking, then I'd be looking as it was what I wanted, but currently, it is not." He took a moment watching her. Personally, he didn't believe in the whole monster thing, but he knew the ideology. It was very human. She was very human. "Are you really looking after yourself or are you merely caging yourself?" He asked her honestly, or at least as well as he could. "Because you choose the cage in which you stay does not mean its not a cage. For that is what you
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): are doing. There is self preservation and there is what you are doing. If you wanted to look after yourself, you wouldn't be surrounding yourself in a place that you seem saddened by. That weakens you. You seem conditioned to enjoy the weakness, even if you don't call it such. That is what it is. Weakness. You know what is born of those that are hurt, sad, and have much to build on? Monsters. So if that's not what you want... you aren't doing a good job from preventing that."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) sighed at his blunt honesty, but some of what he was saying she needed to hear whether she wanted to or not. Looking down to ground, kicking a pebble with her boot. "I just wanted to say hi. Well if you don't want new friends, since the ones you already have must be so great, I'll be sure to keep my distance then, besides the common pleasantries, I can see where I'm not wanted." Her eyes starting to glow as her emotions were starting to get the best of her, looking back up at him. "If I don't cage myself in some capacity, then bad things tend to happen." Chuckling at the mention of being conditioned to enjoy the weakness. "I was the scapegoat for a lot of bullshit where I lived last, I simply got used to it Nathyn. I am a monster, just not the typical ones that you think of like Micheal Myers or Jason. But a monster none the less."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) the way he looked at her was reminiscent of the way a elder brother or even a father or higher male figure would look upon another. "Stop it." He said directly. He followed it with the intensity of his stare. That coldness of his pale eyes coiled about her spirit and held it still so he could speak to it... to her. That real her. "You know nothing of what a real monster is. For starters, its definition will vary depending on the ideology you follow. You are feeling that you are immoral because whatever standards you had on what was right you have bent or broken. That and given your dependency on the thoughts of others, you probably broke the morals others had. Now I am going to tell you something, and you need to take this to heart, Kahlan. Fuck. People." He said the last two words with greater emphasis and power. "They don't get to tell you how to live your life. You don't have to listen to them. You want friends so bad, then you shouldn't be trying to fit in. You won't, and be proud of
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): that. It is a rare individual that can be taken for who they truly are at face value. You are different. Embrace that. And as you go out in the world you find people that are not judging you to their expectations. You wait and find people that look at you and take you as you are and accept you as you are. Those are the people that will always be there to help you when YOU want to change and when YOU need the help. If they don't do that fuck them. You don't need them. let them live their lies. You don't live it. You just live for yourself as you want. And stop calling yourself a monster. That is just another way that you are living for others."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) noticed the look he was giving her, opening her mouth to say something, but when he spoke, it snapped shut. The intensity of and coldness of his stare made her want to step away from him even further than she normally wanted to, but she was frozen to the spot. A shiver ran down her spine involuntarily. "I think I do. Each monster is different to everyone like you said, but for me to show you that, would require a certain trust and at this point, it isn't there for me to expose that." Falling silent as he said more, waiting until he was done. The glow in her eyes fading as she calmed. "You know what Nathyn, you're right.. But, I do need help with my mon-....er my...." She stumbled over her words, trying to figure out how to word it exactly. "My other side, for lack of better words..don't know what to called it, if I can't say monster anymore."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) smirked, " That... is why you seek friends. Not for companionship, but for survival. You are looking for those that can accept you as you are and help you with all your faults you need to fix. These friends should not be judging you for it. But at the same time, you should not be judging them either. And you give them something back for their friendship and aid. That is the trust you aren't giving. You remember all that the next time you want to stomp off in a huff as you do. Are the people you are stomping away from really trying to help you be a better you, or are you mad because you realize they aren't who you need in your life? Think on that." He smoothed out his coat then and sighed, his face softening.. least as much as it could given the aura he carried to him. " And for the record. I said I didn't desire friends or want them. that doesn't mean I won't make them. I am just not looking for myself. If they come up to me all the time, I'm not going to stop them." It was weird.... but
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): he was actually being friendly.
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) let out a breath she had been holding in. "Yeah, you're right. I need to work on things, I know that. But, where the hell do I start? There's fifty million things that I need help with and finding a starting point is daunting." Shooting him a glare as he mentioned her stomping off. "I stomped off because people were either making fun of me or something about me. Some of the people are trying to help me, but what they want me to do in order to help me is something I'm not sure I want to be apart of again. I was the scapegoat in the last place and I don't want that happening here as well. It makes me hesitant to take the leap again." Shifting her weight back and forth on her legs, noting his face softening after his intimidating stare a moment ago. "I just feel lost and alone, even when I'm surrounded by people."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) nodded, " You need to give a little to get a little." He said to her, in a calm, soothing tone, for him. "It is scary to trust and it should be, but you do need to. Perhaps, ask to sit and speak candidly with the ones that are trying to help you. Somewhere where it is just you and them? No outside interference. Take that chance and be honest for yourself. Say what you feel and what you are scare of.. what you don't know. Then state what you do know and what you are confident in. And what you are wanting for yourself. Give them a chance to be just as candid and open. You do that, and you can come to an arrangement that will help you both, or you will see how they don't care for you." He reached our and gently pat her shoulder. His hand was warm and not as heavy as it seemed it should be. "You need to trust yourself more too, and remember not everyone wants to destroy you. Some just have a shitty way of showing it."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) gave him a soft smile as she nodded. "Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll do that and see how that goes. It might help with my decision of what I need to do. Thanks for that Nathyn. I really do appreciate that." Studying him again, the man seeming wise beyond his years. She watched him reach out and gently pat her shoulder, which caused a surprised look to come across her face, but she didn't back away from it, but instead leaned into it slightly. Tilting her head some, as she felt the warmth of his hand and that it was light for a man's hand. "I can try to trust myself more, but that's an uphill battle. But, I think we might have some dangerous visitors here, that might want to try to cause harm. The day you walked out of the bar and there were two women by me....they were trying to corner me and their intentions were far from good."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) removed his hand from her shoulder. "I didn't mean to scare. Touch is usually a comforting thing." He chuckled softly , smoothing out his coat once more. "Oh.. so that wasn't some lesbian only place or bar night. And here I was expecting that to be a shining example of progressiveness. Shame." he chuckled again. He really couldn't help it. "Really though, there is danger everywhere. Where there are open people, there is danger. Have you seen the news later? America itself is shitty. Least we are in Canada. there is some hope yet." he mused off, looking to the sky. "The stars do look lovely tonight."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) chuckled a little. "It didn't scare me, it surprised me a bit was all. You don't seem like the touchy feely type of person, so wasn't expecting it was all." Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. "No, it wasn't. I have a feeling if you all didn't come out when you did, that those two would have tried something, so thank god you all did. I know danger lurks around every corner, but these people seem focused and organized. As for the news, I don't watch much tv anymore. Nothing, but depressing shit." Glancing up at the sky for a few moments, she admired the stars. "They sure do. Bet a mountain view would be better, less lights to fight with." Looking back over at him, she would take a step forward. "Thank you for your words of wisdom or advice, whichever you wish to call it." At this point, she would attempt to try and give him a hug as thanks.
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) laughed softly, " I am alive, you know. I do like touch. I just.. choose when I wish to do so." He stiffened a moment as she leaned in to hug him. He was half expecting it, so, he could adjust, which he did. Kahlan wouldn't feel the change, but his physical form literally stepped back. The form she saw remained and even reached up to reciprocate as one would expect him to. She was hugging the him not there. It was safer that way. He didn't hold it long either. When she released the hug and stepped back, he'd quickly slide back into his 'spot' as though he never moved at all. "I don't think I am all that wise. Yet, neither did Socrates. He considered himself a fool and a student until his final days." He looked to her, " he was executed. Sentenced to be self poisoned for his methods and beliefs. That is what happens to those that are different." He sighed then. "Well lucky for me, I'm both male and generally don't stick to crowds. Perhaps that is also unlucky of me too. I don't have a
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer): crowd to seek aid from. Pity that."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) gave a genuine smile as he laughed. "True, touch is good, hell it's important to some of us, to help keep us sane." She had noticed he had stiffened a little when she leaned in to hug him and was pleasantly surprised that he hugged her back. None the wiser to his little stunt. Once she had let go and stepped back, her eyes were soft and held in them, something she hadn't had in a while. Hope. "You are wise beyond your years, you gave good sage advice and a lot to think about for sure." She rose a brow when he told her about Socrates. "That sucks, people seemed to be more harsh back then than they are now, so I guess that's one thing to be happy about I guess. But, you can have a crowd, when you decide that you want to seek more friends."
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) snorted softly, "I don't know... have you seen racism in the South? People can be just as terrible this past century or so as they have been that long ago!" He laughed, finding humor in it. With the coldness in his tone, it would never be complete, but he tried his best to combat that. "If you believe in monsters, then you should know. Looks can be deceiving." He shrugged. " Tehre are vampires, for starters. They never age!" He sighed in thought, reaching up to pet the eyeball at his neck. " I don't think I'll care for crowds for a good while. It is just not my style. The more people around means the more people I'll piss off. It's the way of things. I'm fine with that, though. Either way, the offer is appreciated."
Ҟaнlan Pαrχ (Kahlan7 Resident) nods. "I guess you're right. Is it hard to be nice to each other. Makes me want to sing why can't we be friends really loud." She chuckled as she glanced over at him. "Looks are always deceiving and you're right, could be talking to someone you think is like 25 and they're actually like 150." Letting out a short laugh." Her eyes drifting down to that creepy little eyeball that he wore around his neck for a moment. "You're welcome Nathyn. But I think it's time for me to continue my walk before I turn in for the night. You have a wonderful evening." She said with a wave and would walk off, unless she was stopped.
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) was still petting that eyeball too! "Hmm... indeed. Tricky things." As though he was one to talk. Though if he were asked, Nathyn was honestly the age he claimed. He... was another story, but that wasn't or wouldn't be asked. "Ahh.. i suppose I should actually think about moving off the corner. People may start to think things." he waggled his eyebrows to her, trying to make a joke. Otherwise, he'd merely watch her walk down the path. She'd probably be used to it by now, but he wouldn't actually say a parting, but in the silence it was there... somewhere.